Dave Chappelle Tells Jerry Seinfeld Why He Only Eats Hard-Boiled Eggs | Netflix Is A Joke

Dave Chappelle Tells Jerry Seinfeld Why He Only Eats Hard-Boiled Eggs | Netflix Is A Joke

(soft music) – I’ll do two hard boiled eggs. – That’s funny. Hard boiled eggs, hard
boiled eggs are great, but people don’t order them. – I don’t– – You just find them in the fridge. – It’s like the safest way, ’cause a guy never touches the eggs. – Oh, it’s untouched! – Yeah, it’s a weird road tic. – So, how’s this quitting
smoking thing gonna happen? How’s this gonna work? – This is my plan, it
was my exit strategy. – Okay.
– So that you still get the fixation of it. (upbeat music)
(coffee splashing) – What is the situation of
maximum physical distress that you ever did a set? – I was about to go on stage and like, as they’re like, there’s all
the ballyhoo, Dave Chappelle! I mean, not to be gross, suddenly, I had to like,
take a (beep) really bad. – Ugh. – But I’m gettin ready to go out. So the question is, can I wait an hour? – Yeah.
– But it was that precarious. I don’t know if I ate somethin’. – Yeah.
– But I did it. – You made the hour. – Yeah, and then I said,
“Good night, everybody!” I got off stage, I walked
directly off stage, jumped in the car, had
to find my (bleep) hotel like a time bomb!
(laughing) – Why didn’t you go to the dressing room? – Because I have a weird quirk. I just can’t do that. – You have no road game. – Yeah, oh yeah.
– You only play home game. (laughing) This is one of the great
things about the rectum. The rectum, it’s really got
the worst job in the body. It’s the lowest, lowest,
rung of the ladder. – You have one job.
– You got one job. – To stay shut. – But the amazing thing about it is that it does have a
little social awareness of things that need to be dealt with. – That’s absolutely.
(laughing) – It’s like, it knew,
look I’m just a rectum, but I see there’s a show going on here and I’m gonna have to hang till this show. So even though he’s on
this very low level, there’s a little awareness. I understand. Guys, hold up,
hold up, he’s got a show. – He’s got 10 more minutes. – What do you mean hold up? It’s none of your business,
I’m in charge here. (laughing)
(coffee splashing) – There was a thing you
said in an interview it was a funny imagery. You said, maybe my show
will be one of those shows that just gets yellow, do you? (laughing)
– Like “The Odd Couple.” – Yeah, ’cause it’s such a precise detail. I knew exactly what,
it’s gonna get yellow. (laughing)
(soft music) – Everybody who has ever done a TV series never stops whining, how
hard, wasn’t it so hard? Yeah, yeah, it was hard, but we created something
and contributed something. Do you feel a little obligated? If you’re able to contribute
that, maybe you should do it? – If sometimes the offering drives. Like, if I had idea, like, it’s a drive. It’s just like idea says, get in the car. I’m like, where am I going?
– Right, yes. – And the idea says, I don’t
know, don’t worry, I’m driving, and then you just get there.
– The idea’s driving. – Sometimes I’m shocked, sometimes
I’m in the (bleep) trunk. The idea takes you where it wants to go. – That’s great. – And then other times,
there’s me, it’s my ego. Like, I should do something.
– I should be driving. – Yeah.
– That’s not good. – No, ’cause there’s no idea in the car. – Right.
(laughing) – It’s just me. That formula doesn’t work. – If the idea is in the car
honking going, let’s go. Pulls up in front of your house. – That’s exactly right.
– Right? And you’re in your pajamas. Get dressed!
– I’m not ready. – I’m not ready
– No, no you can go like this. Where we going? Don’t worry about it,
you’ll see, you’ll see. Yeah, all right.
(upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “Dave Chappelle Tells Jerry Seinfeld Why He Only Eats Hard-Boiled Eggs | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. How does he figure no one touches the eggs? You have to take it out of the package just like you would to crack them?

  2. What you are witnessing is the last great and true comedians that will be able to tell the truth. The future will be censored, good bye free world. Fuck you progressive shits.

  3. People in the background eating brunch: oh cool, it's Dave Chappelle and Jerry Seinfeld !

    Dave: I had to shit my pants!
    Jerry: RECTUM!

  4. With the way Dave is hunching over, you would think he is clinching his buttcheeks trying to tame turtles. Doesnt help that they talkin about that very thing.

  5. God, this is SO WRONG. Chappelle does not "ONLY eat hard-boiled eggs". That would mean he does literally nothing else, which is clearly not true because sometimes he has time to talk about eating hard-boiled eggs. He doesn't even "eat ONLY hard-boiled eggs" because obviously he eats other things too, right? Instead, he "eats eggs ONLY when hard-boiled". Jeez, where are your standards???

  6. Jerry Seinfeld really ruins the bit. I never found him funny, he's never done anything but the TV show, and the reason the show was funny was cause of the cast, definitely NOT Jerry. I honestly can't think of one funny thing he's ever said. Dave, on the other hand is a legend, everything he says is gold.

  7. Jerry Seinfeld for lack of a better term is a JUGGERNAUT in this wonderful sport we love to call COMEDY, no questions asked. Now truthfully his show helped that extremely because of the eyeballs that used to watch his tv series religiously. He’s Jewish so that also helps his situation as you know their community run the entertainment business. So definitely that’s a factor to throw into the mix but now if we are to pit Dave up against Jerry to see whom the crowd may feel is the funnier comic then honestly: IT’S SO NOT A DEBATE AND ONE SIDED THAT IT’S LIKE ITS A JOKE WITHIN ITSELF LOL 😂

    Dave’s comedy transcends to all walks of life, from young to old, from black to white and so on but Jerry Seinfeld for me I feel his comedy is limited to a certain type of crowd that like that style of comedy which I find super boring lol 😝

  8. Wow – a great conversation about creativity at the end of this! “sometimes I’m in the trunk….”. What a great metaphor.

  9. I would love to see a conversation between them PLUS Zach Galifanakis. Or however the hell you spell his Greek 5+ syllable name.

  10. I will never understand people that think Jerry is comedically at the same level as Chappelle. Larry David, maybe, but not Jerry Seinfeld.

  11. So let me get this straight. Jerry Seinfeld and Dave Chappelle are sitting in a restaurant together with other patrons and no one is looking at them, trying to talk to them, trying to get autographs, etc. Just casually ignoring them, eating their meals, working on their laptops. No one has a cell phone out taking pictures or recording them. It makes me think this is staged and those are paid extras on the set.

  12. A jew and a jew tool talking about butt holes and how they didn't come up with material that makes their falsehoods legend

  13. Who here, believes this is the same Dave Chappelle.
    I don't. Something besides his muscles has changed.
    The new company he is keeping, is a big 🤔.
    I like Jerry, but nah.

  14. jerry thought he was being funny talking about the rectum… he wasn't… but that's not the crazy party… the crazy part is people actually think its funny… just look at dave try to force laughter and realize he can't do it… and that is jerry's comedy schtick in a nutshell: bad jokes that get stretched out

  15. Jerry is a fucking asshole in real life with fans one fan yell at him in vegas jerry i love you!!! And he told him love your self dude!!!😂 and walk off hahaha

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