Is Coffee Good Or Bad For You? Hasan Investigates | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Ahh. What’s up everyone?
It’s Hasan Minhaj. Today, I want to talk about one of
my favorite things in the world — coffee. I love coffee. In fact, I’ve even been on other
shows to talk about coffee in cars with other comedians. Seinfeld: “Let’s get a cup of coffee.”
Minhaj: “Let’s do it!” Minhaj: “Oh man,
you really got it!” Seinfeld: “Yeah!”
Minhaj: “Okay!” “In New York, this is the
only city in the world where you’ll see a
person in African garb speaking an African language, a woman in Indian
sari speaking Hindi. And people, tourists, will go up
to the lady in the sari and go, “Do you know how I
get to the J train?” “J Train” is actually what he made
me call him that entire episode, and I had to go by “H bus,” which is fucked up. America is obsessed with coffee. Almost two-thirds of Americans drink
at least one cup of coffee every day. Even more shocking — in 2017, one in three young Americans spent more
money on coffee than they invested- which totally makes sense, we’re never
gonna be able to retire anyways. We put coffee in everything. Ice Cream. Cake. Alcohol. Cigars. Westeros. We’ve also figured out every
possible way to make coffee. Manual pour. Machine pour. Percolator. Espresso machine. Siphon pot. Aeropress. French press. And my personal favorite — getting someone
to make it for me. We have turned making
coffee into a science. But there is still something
we just don’t know — Just tell me. It’s an eternal mystery — Like, what happens
inside of a black hole? Or, why are all public toilet
seats shaped like a horseshoe? Just finish the loop! Oh, it’s my favorite
part of the day – the re-up. Ahh yeah. Coffee is so confusing. And all the studies seem
to contradict each other. No correlation between coffee
drinking and any form of cancer. Coffee might cause cancer. Less likely to die from heart disease… More likely to suffer heart disease… Increases your risk of diabetes… Up your risk of glaucoma… Make you hallucinate… Improves brain function… Up to 25 cups of coffee a day had
no ill effects on your arteries. This does seem to contradict a study
that we told you about last month. ahh, coffee. -then you recognize the fact—
-Mine’s cold “oh, it’s going to kill me.” what! So coffee is a lot
like Hillary Clinton. Depending on who you ask, it’s either really good,
or it straight up kills people. This has been going on for decades. But there is a reason
why we can’t figure this out. So, if I’m gonna go
hard on this, I need a refill. “Hasan…” “Hasan!” “Hasan! We need to
finish this video, come on.” Back in 1991, when even scientists
wore Dr. Martens and flannels, the World Health
Organization added coffee to its list of things “possibly
carcinogenic to humans.” In recent years, studies have
shown roasting coffee beans produces a chemical called acrylamide, which was found to
increase the risk of cancer when given to rodents
in high concentration. You would think if cancer is linked
to one of the ingredients in coffee, it’s gotta be bad for us. But it doesn’t work that way. Because the word
“linked” is super vague. It’s like the word “involved.” Right? You can be like, “I’m
involved in a relationship.” and you’re like,
“Cool, good for you.” Or, “I’m involved in a murder.” And you’re like, “Oh shit, are you guilty?” In a 2012 study,
50 common ingredients were selected from random
recipes in a cookbook. and out of those 50 ingredients, more than 70% of them were linked
to a higher or lower risk of cancer. To be fair, the cookbook was called
The Joy of Cooking With Asbestos. Those same researchers
also concluded that a lot of studies highlight
“implausibly large effects, even though evidence is weak.” So the big question is: Why do so many
researchers publish weak ass studies? Well, I’m gonna tell you. But first, I need some coffee. “Hasan. Hasan! Your coffee’s ready.” Ahhh. One reason the research
is all over the place is experts are constantly
cranking out papers to stand out — no matter how valid or
invalid the methodology is. A recent analysis found that many
scientists publish a paper every five days. I mean come on, you guys, science
should not be like podcasting. To pump out that many papers, experts can rely on something
called “data dredging,” which sounds like what
Elizabeth Holmes calls foreplay. Data dredging involves casting
a wide net on your research, and then creating a hypothesis
that backs up whatever results you happen to find. It’s like you have the stats, and then you create your
hypothesis after the fact. It’s the opposite of science. I need more coffee. The problem is, universities
and research labs incentivize data dredging
because publishing papers is necessary to being an academic. As one NYU professor put it: “You can’t get a job if
you don’t have papers.” And writing papers just to write
them can backfire in serious ways. Take Dr. Brian Wansink, who looks like the generic
stock photo of “man with food.” Last year, Dr. Wansink had to
resign from Cornell University for misreporting research data. Wansink’s research was so flimsy that the medical journal Jama had to retract six of his papers for their lack of
“scientific validity.” All of this happened
after seven other papers were retracted
for similar reasons. Wansink even sent
emails to his staff telling them to look for
results that would quote “Go virally big time.” Is that why we haven’t
found the cure for gingivitis? They’re like, “Nah, it won’t trend.” You know there’s a problem when
scientists have the same goal as teenagers on TikTok. Pretty soon, they’ll just be
lip-syncing the study results. Shoddy research is why we’re
always buried in news stories about things like coffee. Thankfully, the research community
is doing something about this. Whether it’s by sharing data
to increase transparency, or focusing on large,
randomized, controlled trials. Look, we may never know if
coffee is good or bad for us, but I do know one thing: it’s fucking delicious, and I’m
never gonna stop drinking it. But like many things in life,
it’s all about moderation. Ahh. I’m 80% hazelnut.

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