(Between Two Ferns Theme) – I had President Hillary
Clinton on last time, and now I have this guy. It’s like.
(rustling) But it’s like I Love the 90s. We might as well have Lorena
Bobbitt as a guest, you know. Get an Us Weekly or Teen People
and find a legitimate guest! Hi, my name is Zach Galifianakis. Welcome to another edition
of Between Two Ferns. My guest today is Jerry (mumbling) Seinfeld. – Really thrilled to be here. – Seems like everyone
from the Seinfeld cast has gone on to do, you know, great, wonderful stuff. Elaine is on Veep and
an Emmy Award winner, Kramer did that great stand-up bit. It’s been a real launching pad for whites. (deep breath) Okay. – Actor, writer, comedian, producer; which of Larry David’s skills
do you admire the most? You have Comedians in
Cards Getting Coffee. James Corden has Carpool Karaoke. What’s next in lazy car-based, non-comedy? (rustling) You know that movie you made, Bee Movie? Don’t you think it should’ve been called D- Movie? (chuckling) – It’s called Bee Movie
because it’s about bees! But it was the number one
movie when it came out, so I had that feeling, which you had in the first Hangover. And then, do you think if they
only made one Hangover and didn’t make the other two, it would be considered a comedy classic? Do you think that you
destroyed what would have been a comedy classic by the
cash grab of 2 and 3? – Let me ask you a question! Do you have relatives that need emergency surgery all the time?! Well I do! My Aunt Deborah needed a
baboon heart transplant! That’s why I did Hangover 2! My Uncle Dicky, his
yacht club burned down. That’s why I did Hangover 3, it’s to save my uncle’s yacht club! And to buy myself a stretch hummer. – That’s a great, great story. It really has a funny ending. I can’t wait to tell that at dinner later. Do you get professional haircuts? – There’s a guy, he’s, he’s fantastic. His name’s Sam.
(rustling) Oh, he’s here! Oh, this is exciting, a
little Seinfeld reunion. – Oh! – Come on out! (click)
(“Seinfeld Theme Song”) (click) – Hello, Jerry. – Hey, Wayne, good to see you! – Hey, good to see you!
How ya doin’? – No, you’re supposed to say “Hello, Newman.” – Yeah, no, that’s when
I’m playing a character. – He’s Newman. – [Jerry] No.
– No, my name is Wayne Knight. – Why would you have him come down, and, and use him that way,
that cliche, you know, exploitative way of just having him do his catchphrase from the show. – I thought that’s what you wanted. I was disappointed, but I didn’t know. – No, I didn’t even know you were coming! (rustling) – Thank you. Oh, can you just look
right into the camera. Which one? Can you just look right into the camera and go “Don’t forget to vote funny!” Right here, this is the camera. – I see the camera, but
I don’t like the line. – I know, but the more clicks I get– – I don’t care about- – My brand shoots up.
– your clicks. “Hey, it’s Jerry Seinfeld! Don’t forget to vote funny!” And then maybe “Catch ya on the downlow,” something, whatever, like what millenials would say. – I don’t wanna do that. – “Hey brah”, “don’t forget to click funny, bro!” – No. – So just do it.
– Nah I don’t give a shit. – Oh, fuck it, I’ll do it. Hey, don’t forget to click funny, bro! (murmuring)
– pssst Zach – Really? Okay. She’s here. Okay, we have a better
guest, we have another guest. (humming)
– Oh! I thought I was– – Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Cardi B. (click)
(rap music) – [Cardi B] Hey, everybody! – Hey, Cardi!
– Oh, my god! – [Cardi B] Hi!
– Hey, how are you?! So great to see you! This is Jerry.
– Hi, Cardi. – [Cardi B] Oh, hi, how are you?
– Nice to meet you. – Nice to meet you. – Wow, this is– – Jerry, can you take the crate? Uh, there’s a milk crate that they put. Cardi, you sit there. – Yeah, but–
(murmuring) – Move down! Hi! Cardi B, Zachy G, Jerry J. – What’s the J? – Jew. Cardi, your album is
gangbusters, you’re a giant star. I mean, are you able to look at all this and just take it in? Is your life nuts?! – Ahhhhhhh, exhausting and– – You’re about to have a baby, right?! – [Cardi B] Yeah.
– Great! So we got you a gift,
(rustling) ’cause that’s what you
do in show business. – Oh, wow thank you.
– You’re welcome. – See, I got a gift. – Yeah, no, I didn’t get anything. – Ooh, Rap Fan! – Yes! I don’t know if you’re
gonna have a boy or a girl, but the color is gender neutral, so. – I’m special. – You are special. But the most important thing
is that you’re relevant. – Boy, this is a really
different interview than the one I did. I’m not even between the ferns anymore! I don’t even fit the
description of the show- – You’re to the right. When
I do another show called “To the Right of a Fern”– – [Jerry] Yeah. – You’ll be the first guest. But right now it’s Cardi B and I Trying to get to know each other. Cardi, thank you so much for
coming by and savin’ the show. Cardi B, everybody! Thanks for coming. – [Cardi B] Thank you so much.
– Thank you – It was so nice meeting you. – [Whispers] Don’t hug
Jerry, just walk away. – Yes, man. It’s so nice meeting you. – Okay, buh-bye! – That was the opposite of
what happened with Kesha. – Good Good Good–
– So anyways– – Yup, thank you. Uh, thank you to Jerry Seinfeld for being our guest. And, um, thank you Cardi B. Great show. (click)
(“Seinfeld Theme Song”) (“Seinfeld Theme Song”) Ya ever have a talk show, and, on that talk show, the, the guest is really lame? One of my guests, he had
a show on when, you know, the Counting Crows were popular. But, if you look at his face it’s more like Counting Crows Feet. (Between Two Ferns Theme) (whooshing) (squeaking)