-As much as I love this job,
can I be real with y’all? It can definitely get stressful. I mean, there are so many
different ways to relieve stress, but I’ve told my writers to stop
making so many sex jokes. So we’re just gonna
talk about therapy. Straight up, they nasty.
[ Laughter ] In so many cultures,
therapy is taboo. And in my experience, Indians
don’t really believe in therapy. And it actually makes sense. You don’t need to deal with that
soul-sucking feeling of loneliness when you never
get the chance to be alone. [ Laughter ] When I told my parents
I was going to therapy, they were like, “We didn’t
bloody need therapy growing up, okay?!”
[ Laughter ] “You’re making us
look like bad parents! You dumb head,
you’re breaking our heart!” [ Laughter ] And I was like,
“Yeah, you’re right. Not getting therapy has worked
out really well for you guys.” [ Laughter ] It was hard finding a therapist. I had to find someone
that fit my schedule, someone I could trust,
and a lot of people told me it would be good
to find a woman, particularly a woman of color. But then I found
this white woman, and I was like,
“Nah, I’m sure she’s fine. She knows what’s up.”
[ Laughter ] And the first thing she did
was congratulate me on my marriage to Nick Jonas. [ Laughter ]
[ Audience “Ohs” ] Now, when I go to my therapi– [ Laughter ] Now, when I go to my therapist,
I’m always honest with her. But in the back of my head,
I’m always like, “Should I tell
a joke right now?” [ Laughter ] “Do I sound smart?
Like, does she hate me? Does she like me?
Does she think I’m smart?” It’s actually a lot like when
I do the monologue on this show. “Do you all like me?
Do you think I’m smart? Do you think I’m smart?
Am I doing good?” Okay. [ Cheers and applause ] -We love you!
-Oh, thank you, baby! But sometimes,
I’ll bomb so hard at therapy, that I’m more traumatized
than when I walked in. [ Laughter ] You’re not supposed to feel
worse when you leave. That’s what Chick-Fil-A is for. [ Laughter ] Now, you all know I’m cheap,
so whenever I see her, I think, “Great, my daddy issues
just cost me $150.” Usually, if you
have daddy issues, you can make a quick $150. Just like, “Coming to the stage,
it’s Cinnamon! She’s hot, she’s tight, and she never learned
to ride a bike!” [ Laughter and applause ] It’s good that therapists
keep a poker face. Because if I walk into the room
after the last person, and I see my therapist
wiping tears away, I’m gonna get competitive.
[ Laughter ] It’s like, “Oh, pssh!
Hold on. You think that person
has a sad life? Well, wait till you get a load
of this loser, okay?” [ Laughter ] Well, my therapist is awesome. Like, sometimes she’ll text me
random motivational things, like, “Just breathe.”
Or — Or “Be kind to yourself.” And I know I should try
to take that advice in, but all I keep thinking is that,
if she PhotoShopped those texts onto pictures
of sunsets, she would have, like,
a million Instagram followers. [ Laughter ] There are downsides
of going to therapy. For one, my therapist lives
far away, in downtown L.A., which is a nightmare to get to
because of all the traffic. Straight up, if my session is at
the same time as a Lakers game, I’m like, “You know what? I’m in a pretty good place
mentally right now. I don’t need it.”
[ Laughter ] And sometimes my therapist
will give me homework, but I never really do it. I try to say that my dog ate it,
but let’s be honest — I’m the only one eating…
[ Laughter ] …my feelings.
[ Laughter ] My therapist does offer
FaceTime sessions, which you’d think
would be more convenient. But the first time we FaceTimed, she accidentally kept flipping
the screen back and forth. She didn’t know
how to use the microphone. It was a disaster. Eventually,
she got so frustrated, she’s like, “I can’t fix this!” It was the only time
I got to say, “How does that make you feel?” [ Laughter ]