Pokémon Talk #33: Tapu Cocoa

Pokémon Talk #33: Tapu Cocoa


[B] Hi, I’m Bulbasaur, [S] and I’m Squirtle [B] and this is Pokemon- *Squirtle mega evolves* [B] Why? [MS] Uhh… [S] Sorry Bulbasaur, I hadn’t thought of a way to interrupt you yet and panicked. [B] Well, it did its job, so it’s not a big- [B] Okay, now I’m pissed. [S] Now, it’s really done its job. [B] Anyways, today on Pokémon Talk, we have a very special guest. This guest is one of the Guardian deities of the Alola region and the first one we were introduced to as well. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to the Guardian of Melemele Island, Tapu-Koko. *Applause* [TK] What’s going on everyone, thanks for having me here. [S] Woah, Tapu-Koko you look so different. Why are you black? [B ]Oh, my god Squirtle. You can’t just ask people why they’re black. [TK] Huh, it’s chill guys. I’m shiny hence the different coloring. [B] You’re shiny? But I thought you were shiny locked. [TK] Well, I’m a particularly special Tapu-Koko. [S] Ohh, so your’e hac- [TK] Mystery gift. [S] Gotcha. [TK] But now that we’ve got that cleared up, would you guys like to try some of my famous Tapu Cocoa? [S] Oh, nice! F*** that’s hot! [B] Not this again. [TK] Haha, that’s so meta. [S] Gross. (Metagross) DING [TK] You didn’t like it. [S] Oh, no. It’s delicious. See… *Beep Beep Beeeep* [B] Squirtle, put the cocoa away. [S]Ok. [B] Not him. [S] My bad. [TK] So guys, since I’m here on your show as a guest, you’ll want me to answer some questions for you, right? [B] Yeah, that’d be great! [B] So our first question is– [TK] how do I impress so many ladies all the time? Well, don’t you fret guys, I’ll teach you my way so every woman you meet will be instantly wooed. [B] That’s not what I was going to ask, besides, I already have a girlfriend. [S] Oooh, teach me, teach me. I want to know how to turn people into wood. [TK] No, not wood, wooed. [TK] That’s what I said, wood. Just cause you have a different accent than me doesn’t mean I’m wrong. [B] Oh my god, Squirtle. [TK] You’re not very smart, are you? [S] Depends on the day. Sometimes I’m the dumbest one here, but others I’m smarter than any of you could even comprehend, but I don’t see why that’s relevant right now. Just tell me more about this wood transforming power you have. [B] He’s talking about impressing women and making them like you, Squirtle. [S] Oooh, that’s even better. I want to impress lots of hot Dragonair girls. [TK] Excellent! So tell me, Squirtle, when you see a cute girl you want to talk to, what do you do normally? [S] Yell at her and tell her I have a boyfriend. [TK] What? [S] I mean, that’s what they do right? [TK] I mean…, well… actually, yeah (I saw) some them do do that. But, just because they do doesn’t mean you should. You should approach them and introduce yourself. Here, let’s practice. Pretend Bulbasaur here is a cute girl. [S] Oh, all right, then. Hello, I’m Squirtle [B] I have a boyfriend. [S] Told you. [TK] Huh, weird, it’s always been easy for me. Well here. Let me try. Hi, I’m Tapu-Koko. [B] Oh, come on guys, this is silly. [TK] How would you like to go on a flight around Melemele island with me? I… Wow, that actually does sound pretty fun. [TK] Boo-Yah! [S] Oh, I see the key to winning someone over is to utilize your social status money and power. [TK]Yeah, wait what? [S] Personality plays no role whatsoever. Thanks Tapu-Koko. You’re a genius wait.[TK] That’s not, what? Well, actually now that you’ve pointed it out, that is how I tend to win people over. Man. [B] Okay, so are we done now? Can we move on from this? [TK ]Actually, Squirtle, you’re right. Not that I should use my fame to win over women, but that I have been. That’s not the way to do it. I should be showing who I really am. From now on I will only be completely sincere when talking to people and show them who I am deep down. Ohhh… [S] Well, alright then whatever floats your marshmallows. [TK] I’ll start right now. Hey there, my name’s Tapu-Koko- [B] Why am I still the girl here?- and I like anime .[B] I have a boyfriend.

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