QI S17E15 Series Q – HD – Quantity and Quality

QI S17E15 Series Q – HD – Quantity and Quality


tonight we are delighted to bring you
both quantity and quality and with me are a pint and a half of best Joe Lycett spoonfuls of delicious Bridget Christine six yeah lots of finest James a caster shitload of Allen Davis with bells on their buzzers emphasize quantities /
qualities jogos great Quattro Cinque James goes seis siete
Ocho Alan goes 9 9 hu I are thinking of starting a high-quality airline but we
don’t have the quantity of money required what cost-saving measures could
we take how much of trains how much would it cost to put wings on a
train though driverless trains perhaps don’t have pilots or stewards gliders
right no fuel costs well it is fuel that we want to save we want to help the
environment you want to save money and so on so here is an extraordinary thing
no passengers well you want the passport luggage you want it to be as light as
possible skinny people with no bag are you allowed to advertise them yes
in 2013 Samoa air with the very first airline to charge passengers according
to the Harrigan wait yeah they had to pay once a moment Ellis it’s roughly 29
30 P for every kilo that they and their luggage weight Wow but the actual plane
you can save money on the actual plane I know it sounds very strange but white
planes are more efficient than dark planes
Wow lighter paint is literally lighter dark paint on an airplane can add the
equivalent weight of eight passengers you look James as though you don’t
believe me evil dark paint is have you ever has more pigments or pigments I was
gonna say I was children look at a plane you’ll see most of them are are of a
lighter color why paint it at all so that is the other option is that you
could polish it however you do need to wash it more often to offset corrosion
if you’ve just polished it and white paint would be cheaper because actually
the money you’d save on fuel you would spend on washing it’s really I’m not
going to open a flight business are you not but it’s amazing where you can save
money so in 2018 United Airlines switched to lighter paper for the
in-flight magazine all right they saved one ounce per copy doesn’t seem like
very much at all but it’s 11 pounds saved for a full flight you multiply
that by the whole fleet over a single year you have saved a hundred and
seventy thousand gallons of fuel worth two hundred and ninety thousand dollars
just a single answer paper on each individual in-flight magazine the
airline’s beverage cart in always half what the old ones used to weigh they’ve
stopped duty-free sales in many instances well I’ve picked a few already
you can get rid of that little tiny tray that the other trays are in why does
that exist I mean all of the food can go because it looks shit I was one recently that they weren’t
showing Ocean’s eleven but they were showing oceans eight so that’s three
that’s three in the 1980s was a man called Robert Crandall he was then head
of American Airlines and he removed just one olive from every single salad served
to their customers nobody noticed and they say $40,000 a year yeah but I bet
he was fat at the end of it poppin on it from everyone’s plate in every plane
yeah that’s having some effect I’m no scientist no Cheerilee no hats no one
could really get annoyed if he said no hats there’s a lot of screws in a plane
as well I reckon a couple of those All Nippon Airways in 2009 they asked
passengers to visit the loo before boarding they calculated that a full 767
could hold 240 pounds of urine inside its passengers and if everybody boarded
with an empty bladder they calculated they could reduce carbon emissions by 5
tons over the course of a move on how can you make money from fresh air separate it into its component parts and
then sell those you don’t need to you can just sell fresh air so in 2015 there
was a man called Moses Lam lived in Edmonton Canada and as a joke he sold a
bag there is a bag of fresh Canadian air on eBay for 99 cents it went and when
the bids for the second bag got to a hundred and sixty-eight Canadian dollars
he thought hmm might be up to something here he gave up his job as a mortgage
broker and now he sells Canadian Rockies air that is what he does for a living
yeah a single 8 liter bottle costs twenty four US dollars
his company vitality has sold over 200,000 units often to countries with
very low air quality so he sells them to China and India and South Korea and so
on and this Canadian air sounds pricey so
you could have Swiss Mountaineer that’s only 17 pounds
roughly a can how can you prove that it’s from there well you just have to
believe Virginia if you don’t want to buy air from abroad you can buy air from
Yorkshire from Wiltshire from Wales there’s a company called ether the
company’s founder Leo dawat Sears coined the term air farming there is that
Killick a forty would it’s completely pure air it is actually collected in
Somerset or wherever he happens to be it’s just scooped up and sealed it’s
just a lot of money for a jar isn’t it really which country do you think has
the best air quality in the world Britain oh that’s so sweet and loyal and
so wrong Iceland it’s gonna be scandi isn’t it for sure absolute is Finland
indeed followed by of course the usual suspects all thus candies Iceland Sweden
and then Estonia in Norway UK is 25th after Singapore and just one place ahead
of Oman Sweden were really high and they still have really good air but they’ve
dropped down the list because in these countries that have lots of snow they
have tire spikes so that they’re not all sliding around and they’re digging up
the tarmac which is causing some toxic and they can’t even stop yourself
slipping on the road unbelievable nowheres quality air in the world I went
to Delhi and it’s there was black it’s nicknamed the Manchester of India the
North Circular it’s actually the underground yeah is it they did a study
at the University College London in 2001 they found the air quality in carriages
was 73 times worse than its street level so if you take one single 20 minutes
journey on the northern lining this is you might as well have had a fag it’s
the iron oxide particles caused by the grinding of the wheels and the rails as
the trains break so it is about the most dangerous places Invicta breathe why
might it be a bad idea to remove all the dead wood from the houses of parliament with Bridget late well we are talking
about 1834 up until 1826 the Palace of Westminster kept all its financial
records on something called tally sticks so you had a stick and you split it in
two when you issued a debt and when the payment was made the two sticks were
tied back together again but eventually of course paper records superseded the
need for these and now they’ve got a lot of old wood so they decided to get rid
of it the obvious idea was to burn it that’s
one the 16th of October 1834 the clerk of the works who’s in various records
called mr. Whibley or mr. woo bleep he ordered two cartloads of these tally
sticks w-what please mr. wobbly wobbly yes
it’s the wibbly-wobbly get rid of the stick it was just like that I’ve got a
character act called Christopher butter slip he drops everything doesn’t he
Christopher but yes he’s got very slippery fingers and he’s kept his
catchphrases whoops oh he said he’s an auctioneer that’s fantastic this minghua
mr. wibbly-wobbly decided to burn two cartloads of these tally sticks in the
basement staves at the Palace of Westminster and the resulting fire burnt
down both the House of Lords and the House of Commons what did you entrust this job to mr. Webley waffle
so the chimneys had not been probably maintained that in those that we still
talking about children gain up chimneys and they had cut footholds into them
there was a lot of residue and the copper linings of the chimneys actually
caught fire and it’s spread eventually to the entire wooden interior of
parliament and there was no fire brigade at the time
so everything was run by the insurance company it took five hours for the fire
boat to get to the house apartment cuz the tide was wrong it was the largest
fire since 1666 there Turner painted several canvases of the disaster and
constable two sketched it sitting in a hansom cab on Westminster Bridge rebuild
the whole shebang yes that’s when we get those designs that we have today with
gels berry and fusion and everything Big Ben and everything yeah so you know well
apart from Westminster Hall Westminster Hall was saved so parts of it are a
thousand years old or more and it only was saved because the wind changed as
you steai know so here’s a supplementary question how
did the fire the one at the hazard apartment affect the length and breadth
of Trafalgar Square Oh hadn’t been built yet that’s wrong
that’s a good answer yeah so apart from Italia sticks and all the
stuff in Parliament that was destroyed the very object which defined the
Imperial standards of measurement were lost so it meant that you had no way of
ultimately deciding the length of something yes there’s a there’s a bronze
plaque of all the weights and measures in France well you’ll get an extra point
there is indeed such a plaque the mathematician and an astronomer
called Sir George Airy he was charged with creating these new objects they
wanted to make sure that this could never happen again so the standards
worked replicated so today you can find them in the Great Hall of the guild hall
by the gate of the Royal Observatory in Greenwich and as you quite rightly said
embedded in the granite at Trafalgar Square so if you are facing the National
Portrait Gallery there’s a sort of cafe and a bench and actually slightly hidden
and most people probably don’t even notice that it is there my child found
it and said what’s that I don’t know at the time so it opened in 1844 was being
closed at the time right new question which is my favorite quality Street are
we going to guess and all the Klaxons ago green triangle hey pennies the toffee pennies the blue one that no one eats other
penis is a trick it’s not chocolates at all it isn’t chocolates it’s a play by
JM Barrie called quality Street it’s poor at comedy and it was a huge hit in
London opened in 1901 paid for 495 performances it’s still done today
it concerns Phoebe she’s in her early thirties she’s still unmarried and her
former love the captain Brown returns from the Napoleonic Wars and she’s
pretty worried that he won’t love her anymore so she disguises herself as a
younger girl in order to impress him so the theme of staying young JM
Barrie’s is it again later on in Japan the actress who very first started this
was called Maude Adams she was the first person to play the lead role in quality
Street and she went on to be the first Peter Pan on Broadway effect I think she
paid Peter Pan more than 1,500 times she was a superstar in her day one of the
very first actors to earn more than a million dollars which at the time so
it’s an astonishing amount of money and she was also an inventor she assisted
with the development of color photography because she wanted to be
able to capture things properly that she’d done on stage and capture them on
film she’s amazing probably a lesbian yes yeah he’s buried next to his secretary who
was her secretary for more than 40 years Louise Boynton I mean it may just be
that the sector was busy and booked a double plot I don’t know there are four
streets in the UK called quality Street there’s one in Merstham so named when
the two original stars of the Western production of quality Street moved there
and all the other three are in Scotland as far as we’ve been able to work out
there are no shops on any Street called quality Street which sell quality street
chocolates but the chocolate selection is named after the play John and violet
Mackintosh invented this new style of toffee in 1936 used the characters from
the play on the packaging it’s an arrogant advert isn’t it
I’m John Macintosh the toffee coffee hammer yes fudge hammer fudge hammer
that would just make a big dent it’s fine to hit some fudge with a hammer
maybe more size find that the toffee which to the survey in 2018 and they
found that chocolate selections always have fewer of the ones that people
actually like so they asked about a thousand people to name their favorite
the two most popular quality Street chocolates are the purple ones and the
green triangles and these should appear by reference eleven times in the box and
they actually appear just five to six times oh and it’s the same with heroes
whispers twelve no wonder this country’s the way is uninspiring country in the
world because the green one plays green triangle that doesn’t really taste the
benefit do not have favourites I’ll hit the
toffee bingo hit the caramel business they are not the same that’s racist happy ones a lot firmer the Cameron ones
nice and soft give that to an old man with dentures
ask me if they’re the same I just didn’t expect when I started on this show that
I would watch James call Bridget a racist you just said about toffee
fingers and caramel cups everybody’s got a line that they draw
somewhere what letter did the Romans used to write the number 1000 oh hang on
Oh Q know anybody know in the audience so M not used to mean a thousand until
the Middle Ages not used by the Romans at all the Middle Ages called at the
time why did the rebels not use it for a size
and what was the reason do you think I couldn’t count that far I didn’t need to
they hadn’t used that many large numbers when they did they used an I in brackets
there’s a monument erected in the Roman Forum to commemorate a victory in the
First Punic Wars and on the column you can see an eye and lots of brackets and
it is repeated at least 22 times there may be more but it represented the two
million two hundred thousand bronze coin that they looted in the Carthaginian
wars in which obviously they wanted to celebrate later on to write a peasant in
Roman numerals they used an X inside a circle and later still they used the
Greek letter Phi now like an eye in brackets that’s an emoji for a button yeah you’d be a bracket line bracket why
would you send that spice up some guy in relationship on a picture here so I can
see yeah it doesn’t look like a bottom to me eight on its side which has
evolved into our symbol for infinity and finally the M was a doctor of the
Middle Ages probably from the latin malay for a thousand so we learn at
school to write the number line as let’s get
that one is a point for the audience for that one but also that rules comes from
the Middle Ages on the frame so the Romans used a mixture of contractions so
they might put one X like this but they might also put V and for I is like that
and you still see it on clock faces and watches and actually I think it’s rather
beautiful you see they’re the four eyes for the number four and I think it’s
rather beautiful because if you use the four eyes like that so the first four
numbers one two three four all have those beautiful eyes in them and the
next four are the only ones with v’s in it and the next four are the only ones
with X’s in it so actually to look at it it’s rather beautiful Big Ben
actually breaks this convention the four is I and V now what is the biggest thing
you could buy with a quid is it a whale I’m sterling yes visualize the shelves
in Poundland remember new whales there get an ironing board Oh Villa Bates bought it for a poem
didn’t I need to do he later Bates sold the club to Roman
Abramovich in 2003 for a hundred and forty million they it’s estimated be
worth 1.5 billion other companies that have been bought for a pound British
home stores but bearings Bank Reader’s Digest home base don’t have to be a
pound when Rover was sold to BMW it was ten quid but you have to have something
it’s a legal necessity in a contract it’s called a consideration something
has to be paid it used to be known as the peppercorn like peppercorn rent both
University still pays an actual peppercorn to the city as ground rent
yeah what you woken up what’s happen when you have a legal contract if I’m
going to sell you this card you must give me something for it alright today
well that’s it and I’ll have the pitch ah no dances are they doing it still at the
University actually go into to the city and I given them a pepper cause become a
sort of ritual do you think the peppercorns get used I like that the
city might be building up to a whole mill the new 12-sided pound coin it’s
got a number of features that make it more difficult to counterfeit to anybody
know what they might be is it a white thing no it’s a kind of hologram so if
you look this is just below the Queen’s head and if depending on the light you
know this is one or a pound symbol just if you flip the coin always in pound our
guests into submission with the coin toss that we call general ignorance
fingers on buzzers please what are skid marks made from civil poo get out of the
way isn’t it spires so we talked about skid marks on the
road it’s actually caused by the bitumen heating up rather than any tire rubber
being laid down yeah so as the cars brakes stop the wheels
from turning the friction between the tires and the surface results in high
temperatures that caused the tar to melt along with the bitumen and at the
bitumen toils in the asphalt they rise to the surface and once the surface
cools down the skid marks will just fade away so the technical term for a skid
mark is a bitch ominous material smear that’s fine
I’ve always wondered how is it possible for that skid mark to be produced by
that mr. wibbles car anybody know where the word skid comes from Randy’s candy
factor comes from the old norse word just means a stick of wood so it
referred to the piece of wood that used to be laid down to help move logs they
used to use skids to move things downhill people lived on Skid Row were
originally the loggers people who hit the skids going downhill the open
university offers a course called analyzing skid marks apparently an
important skill in motor crash friends you got every Monday something Monday’s
washed down fine I see okay what’s the first citation in the OED
feed marks referring to stained underwear it’s Barry Humphries in one of
his Barry McKenzie private eye cartoons published in 1968 I’ve got a poster up
in my mobile got a wall yeah doing pretty well these days save it up some
more Walsh it’s a very long wall actually yeah Trump’s wanna buy it off
me ain’t gonna get it anyway moving on how many trees are there in this picture
there we go the trick I’m gonna be was right see what did you say zero absolutely right there is one for you
are entirely correct no no no no this show is a scam the trembling giant or
Pando and it looks like an enormous grave of quaking Aspen’s but it’s
actually a single organism and it may be up to a million years old
here’s one of the great wonders of the United States it lies in Utah and it’s
actually a male organism but it produces a sexually so it’s reproducing new stems
underneath from the roots and each of the forty seven thousand or so stems
that are there are genetically identical unfortunately it hasn’t been growing for
thirty to forty years possibly thought to be dying there’s possibly the largest
organism on earth by weight is it not protected it isn’t they’re doing their
best to try and save it okay but you get crazy animals that eat the new shoots so
when old trees die new ones are not replacing them which is what used to
happen but the roots are thought to be at least 80 thousand years old some
people have suggested to be a million years old I think it’s the most
beautiful thing and very worth visiting and while it’s still there who rates the
heightened quartets ya know I was gonna say ed sheeran so
hide was kind of a mentor for Mozart – didn’t actually invent the quartet but
it when he was about eighteen he was asked by a man called Baron phone bug to
come up with something that for amateurs could play at home that’s how string
quartets began what type of tool is used to make jigsaw puzzles a jigsaw today
jigsaws are actually made with lasers or rolling presses but when jigsaw puzzles
were first introduced they were obviously made with a fudge hammer maybe
the jigsaw at all they’ve never been made with a Jew so the jigsaw was not
invented until the 1850s and the first puzzle we would recognize as a jigsaw
was 1762 but even then it was made with a fretsaw why was it called it dig saw
the term first came from a London engraver called John Spilsbury but
they’re actually called dissected puzzles to begin with he made a map and
wood and cut out around the countries and it was to give children the
opportunity to learn all the different countries my favorite thing I love this
fact um a jigsaw puzzle manufacturer typically uses the same cutting pattern
for lots of different puzzles so if you buy two puzzles of the same size from
the same manufacturer with two different pictures you can mix and match and still
there’s an art professor called Mel and dreamer who uses this to make
extraordinary puzzle montages have a look at this picture on the wall I think it’s fantastic and
the jigsaw puzzle was invented before the jigsaw which brings us to the
puzzling matter of the scores in last place my goodness it’s a very good and
with -42 it’s Alan to third place with minus 13 bridges shuttle bays with – well this James James Jo Bridget and Alan I leave you
with this quality quotation from the American columnist and author Alice Khan
for a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of
life please press three goodbye you

0 thoughts on “QI S17E15 Series Q – HD – Quantity and Quality

  1. That skid mark business is nonsense. There are tire skid marks on the concrete street less than 200 feet from me now, and not all skid marks disappear from asphalt. Qi's research seems to have hit the skids.

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