You and Your Fu*king Coffee: Episode 1 – “Houseguest”


– Ah, cool man. – So anyway, make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa and all that. – Yeah, I appreciate it. – I’m gonna go lock myself in my office cause I got that really strict deadline so if you need anything,
Karen should be around. – I should be good. Oh yeah, actually, do you have any coffee? – Uhh… Yeah. Yeah, there’s a
coffee maker right there and the coffee is up in the cupboard. – Okay, yeah, that’s
literally all I need so alright, man, I appreciate it.
– Cool, anytime. I’m off to my cave. – Absolutely. Hey, Stan? – Uh, yeah? – I’m sorry, do you have
another box of coffee filters? It’s empty. – I don’t know. I just- I’m really busy. – Oh yeah, no, I’m sorry about
that man, won’t happen again. I’ll figure something out. – Oh hey, Henry.
– Oh hey, how’s it going? – Good, um, have you um-
have you seen the WiFi code? It was written on a little napkin. – Oh um, no. Why, do
you need for something? – Yeah, the girls keep
unplugging the modem and then I have to reset it again. I want to ask Stan but- – Yeah, he’s been working the
whole time so I don’t know uh- – Hi, mom. – Uh, Katelyn, have
you seen the WiFi code? – Uh, no. – Are you sure? Because I left
it right here on the table. – I have no idea, mom. – Um, do you remember where
you last left it or uh-? – Yeah, it should be right here. – Hi, mom. What are you looking for? – The stupid napkin with the WiFi code. What the hell do you girls
do with things around here? – You girls? I didn’t do anything. – Well where is it? – I think I saw Katelyn take it. She used it to blow her nose and then she flushed it down the toilet. – Okay…Katelyn! – What? – Haley says that you blew
your nose with the WiFi code and then flushed it down the toilet. Why did you lie to me? – She’s lying. She’s
always blaming stuff on me. (overlapping arguing) – She’s a bitch! – Stan, what are you doing? – I’m going to the Hilton so
I can finally finish my work and then I’m gonna go to
the hotel bar and get drunk. – Stan, don’t do this. – Henry, I’m sorry but I
gotta ask you to leave. – Oh yeah, say no more. – You know what? Go. Go
to your bar and get drunk. I’m going to take the girls and we’re going to go stay with my mother. – Can I get that in writing? Maybe there’ll finally be some
peace and quiet around here. (indistinct arguing) (somber music)

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